Healthy Sex Life and STD’s

In a world ripe with digital technology and screen time, we seem to have slowly lost the art of conversation while gaining the bold ability to speak our minds, especially virtually. We have all of the world’s information at our (literal) fingertips, and yet we don’t do enough research into our own personal circumstances. It’s a topsy-turvy world, and yet here we are.

If there is one conversation that you will find an abundance of information around, it’s sex. Oh, the past still catches up with the present and we will continue to see men and women around the world who still consider sex to be a taboo topic, not to be discussed out loud in public. Well, we disagree.

Sex is one thing that all consenting adults have in common, which means that while there may be some tough conversations involved in this subject from time to time, we need to normalize talking about it. A healthy sex life requires just one ingredient: communication. Without communication, it becomes something that adds confusion, pressure and stress to something that is natural and shouldn’t be confusing or stressful in the least.

Of course, we all know that sex is not just for procreation, which is why safe sex is so important for both the individual and couples to achieve the healthy sex life they crave. Talking about sex isn’t just pillow talk or fantasy talk, either. It’s communicating about the risks of pregnancy, the expectations you both have in each other and the trust that you both have for each other to make this experience safe, pleasurable and fulfilling – as it should be.

Difficult Conversations Are A Must

There are still some difficult conversations that may be necessary for some, and one of those conversations surrounds the subject of STDs. For couples who are thinking about a sexual relationship, it’s a conversation that should be had before you go beyond the thinking stage. The thing is, if you can’t discuss sex with a trusted partner you care about, you shouldn’t be having sex at all. It sounds extreme, but if you’re trusting someone enough to share your body with them, then it makes sense that you should have a chat about sexually transmitted diseases and whether you have, or are currently, experiencing any symptoms.

This doesn’t have to be an awkward discussion! When you get to a point in a relationship that sex is the natural next step, this conversation should be quick and easy. Before you dive into that conversation, brushing up on the differences between an STD and STI will help, so let’s take a look:

  • STD: An STD is a sexually transmitted disease. An STD is not always easy to treat, and some never go away and are simply managed with medication and safe sex to prevent transmission to a future partner.
  • STI: An STI is a sexually transmitted infection and the distinction is important here. An STI can often have zero symptoms, meaning that unless you have been tested, you may not know you have one. It’s one of the many reasons that being tested between partners is so important.

One thing that we don’t want to do here is to cover either STDs or STIs in stigma. There is nothing wrong with having however many sexual partners you want to have, as long as you are safe and you are regularly screened for STDs.

How To Talk To A New Partner About An STD You Have

So, you have picked up an STD from a previous sexual encounter, and you have no idea how to broach the subject. Before you talk to a new partner about their sexual health status – not history, as numbers are not important – you need to know about yours. Getting yourself tested at your local clinic is a smart thing to do. If you have been tested and have discovered that you do in fact have an STD, your partner needs to know about this. The conversation you have about STDs is a respectful conversation to have; if you are responsible about sex, you will be having the right kind of sex!

It may not be easy to tell someone that you have an STD but here are some of the things that you can do:

  • Take the conversation outside the bedroom. You do not want to bring up an STD when you are in the middle of making out. Not only is it the wrong time to say, “hey, I have an STD!”, it’s like dousing the experience with a bucket of cold water. Make sure that this conversation is not befuddled with hormones, and you can keep your head straight during the conversation.
  • Don’t be afraid to speak about this. You shouldn’t be afraid of the relationship ending over this conversation, either, because if that’s the end result of your conversation, then you know you’re in the wrong relationship in the first place. Sex is far more intimate than a conversation about a past experience with lasting effects.
  • Be honest. You don’t need to go into things like your “body count” or when this happened, the point is that you have been previously tested and an STD was diagnosed. You are either living with this STD for life, or you are in the midst of being treated for it. You can suggest that with condoms, you are safe to continue to have sex, but that you would understand if they’d like to wait until you have the all-clear. Honesty is the best policy here!

How To Ask A Partner If They Have An STD

If you know that your relationship is heading towards becoming more intimate, that’s the best time to ask this question. Remember, if you are comfortable enough to get naked and have sex, you should just ask outright (again, not in the bedroom) and see what happens. Mature partners will tell you straight whether they have had an STD in the past. It’s the immature responses you want to be on the lookout for. If your partner isn’t sure whether they have had one, then both of you should book in to be tested before you have sex.

You could well have an STD – as could they – that they are unaware of. When you get tested together, you are proving that you are committed to each other’s health and safety, and is there anything sexier than that?! While you’re having this conversation, let your partner know about your own sexual status and how you manage it. Some people pick up STDs, like herpes, in innocent circumstances, and it’s important your partner is aware that this cannot be fully cured but that there are ways to ensure you are safe.

While you’re having the conversation about STDs, you could also discuss the importance of condoms. Some partners may be resistant to the idea of condoms, even with the risk of passing on an STD. This is not a partner you want to have sex with. You should never allow yourself to be vulnerable with someone who is willing to risk your health further, which is the case without condoms. You could also discuss HPV vaccinations, as another way to remain safe.

When You Should Stop Practicing Safe Sex

Sex isn’t always a spontaneous leap into bed together. It doesn’t matter how much you desire your partner, your personal safety comes as a priority and you have to stick to that. If there is no condom present, exercising restraint is the best thing to do rather than risk your future health. This is the case for as long as you have concerns about seither party’s exual health status. The right time to stop practicing safe sex with a condom is when you have both been given a clean bill of health and have negative STD test results. You can get a rapid STD test or same day STD testing if you don’t want a long wait, though!

How To Tell Someone You Have An STD…From Them

We’ve talked about telling a partner about an existing STD, but if you have had an STD test before having sex with a new partner and then you pick up an STD, there is a conversation that needs to be had. You must be honest about your experience, so if your new partner said they were tested and didn’t disclose their history, that’s a problem.

However, if you have had a spontaneous night of passion, or you are having casual sex and then test positive for an STD, you need to let the person know. Here’s how to do it:

  • Go into it with honesty. Take resources about the STD, getting rapid, same day STD testing and be positive about it. An STD is not a death sentence and it doesn’t compromise the integrity of the person you had sex with. Honesty is important, as they may well have had an STD while having sex with other people – who will also need to know. Share some of the key facts about the STD you’ve tested positive for, and let them know the risks of passing it on. Once you’ve given them all the information and where they can be tested, you don’t have to wait for a response. Let them know you’re happy to talk when they’re ready.
  • Give them some time. Some people respond positively to the news that you have told them, as it may not change their feelings about you. STDs are still swathed in stigma, and while professionals are working hard to remove that stigma, it’s a long road. You need to give the person you have slept with time to digest the information and then see how they feel about you going forward. Some people may choose not to continue the relationship with you, and while that doesn’t feel great, it will help you to see whether they were mature enough for it in the first place!
  • Tell them in a way that makes you comfortable. If you want to tell someone over the phone, do so. The best thing to do is have a conversation face to face, but not everyone feels good about doing that. This is big news for another person so while you have already come to terms with it yourself, they haven’t. Be comfortable when you have this conversation; it’s not the easiest one to have!
  • Don’t take their decision personally. If you have told someone that you have tested positive and they choose not to speak to you, know that this is more about them and their own fears and stigma than it is about you. After all, they liked you enough to have sex with you – it’s not a you issue! The way that someone responds to information isn’t about you, so as long as you are positive, honest and safe in your delivery, you will be able to continue on with your sex life and STD treatment as needed.

Getting Tested

The important thing that you should remember here is that regular testing doesn’t just save your sex life: it can prevent you from so many other issues. Some STDs can have a negative impact on your fertility, too, and while you may not want to get pregnant any time soon, you may in future. Understanding how to manage a diagnosis of an STD is much easier if you speak to the experts at a professional clinic. The best thing that you can do is order same day STD testing from and ensure that you have a clean bill of health.

While you may not test positive for an STD, it’s still important that you practice safe sex, so don’t throw out the condoms just yet! Condoms can be fun, and learning all the ways to incorporate them into your sex life so that you can use them safely and without breaking the mood can help you to get closer to the person you are enjoying a healthy sex life with.

Get tested together and ensure that you are both able to enjoy healthy, fun, great sex without the risks that can come with it. Contact Rapid STD Testing today and you can make tonight “the night” with confidence.